I need to boldly move forward into the future and remove the negative weight of memories and experiences and events that have happened to me.
If we both love one another enough, we will find a way to make everything we have work. It will require sacrifices from both of us. And we need to recognize, acknowledge, and thank the other for those sacrifices.
One cannot create positive change from a negative mindset. However, a part of me feels like by letting go of things is a way of me lying to myself about what has happened and giving more of myself after having been robbed of security and respect. However, in order to move forward, I have to stop victimizing myself and take back control by injecting positivity into my life.
I'm trying to take control over my emotions and feelings to move forward in a positive manner. I"m trying to heal myself to then heal us. It's hard to move forward when I have a couple of mis-steps which cause stress or confusion for my partner, which in turn causes resentment and anger on their part. Which in turn causes resentment in me towards them for having the balls to feel resentful of me after harmful acts they have performed against and to me.
Which means - if one of us doesn't break the cycle, the circle continues. And just like with tires on a wheel, over time, the cycle will wear down the tread (the emotions). So I have to be that person. I am a strong woman who is capable of many things; just have to swallow some pride and feelings of unfairness on this one. But I can do it.
